I have always been the black sheep
always been the one everyone treated as a mistake
got treated different
with no love, no tenderness
only the harshness of their voices
telling me how I’m a disgrace
taking joy out of every sin
I’ve ever made
always ready to gossip
out of the trauma pain they caused
I was slowly drifting
and they were there for the excitement of my failings
I have always been the black sheep
being told I was such a disaster
for the choices caused by my mental breakdowns
coming directly from
my so called loved ones
having no laughter, no love
loneliness filled my heart
how can they pretend they want the best
but distance themselves as if I’m a disease and contagious
how can they say they want me to change
when they are the ones who caused this pain
in the first place
For they are the reason
for my mental illness
I’ve always looked to gain acceptance
realizing I’m just digging myself deeper into a dark grave
Narcissistic people can’t be changed
is that’s why I’m a black sheep
is that why I am not like them
because I was chosen to be different
Now I understand my pain
now my tears make sense
I was loosing my way
loosing myself
hiding in my own shame
needing a savior to save me from these people living in vain
not knowing the whole time I was walking with Jesus the one who was holding me close since the beginning
the one who formed me and made me his black sheep
he made made me his black sheep to protect me from the enemy taking me.